Editor’s note:

At the 2022 Autumn Project Achievement Exhibition, You Haiyue, who loves photography, generously showed her photography works to the audience at the market booth, and gave a wonderful speech titled “Me and Photography”, introducing her favorite photography Teacher – Takuma Nakahira, and what photography means to me. This article is a revised version of the speech.

Hello everyone, I am You Haiyue. When I was 21 years old, I talked about my favorite photography at this place. It was not long after I got my first camera and I was passionate about taking pictures. Although part of the power source may be that the camera is too expensive, don’t feel like you’re wasting money

那时候我手里常常拿着相机，每天都对身边的环境感到新鲜和好奇，这种感到新鲜的原因，我也在许多书里和一个我喜欢的摄影师——中平卓⻢的经历里看到了。之后也在其他很多地方了解了更多关于摄影的事情，看了一些关于摄影的电影、纪录片、节目、一些书、一些作品。按理说，我现在应该有了更多不错的摄影作品， 可当我越来越了解、认识摄影和相机的时候，我感受到了个很大的问题——相机的侵略性。认识到摄影的这一面之后，我慢慢开始对相机感到恐惧和害怕，也是因为认识到这一点，我对一个场景或者事物的捕捉欲望下降了。
At that time, I often held a camera in my hand, and I felt fresh and curious about the surrounding environment every day. The reason for this feeling of freshness was also mentioned in many books and the experience of a photographer I like, Takuma Nakahira. see. After that, I learned more about photography in many other places, and watched some movies, documentaries, programs, some books, and some works about photography. It stands to reason that I should have more good photography works now, but when I got to know more and more about photography and cameras, I felt a big problem – the aggressiveness of the camera. After realizing this aspect of photography, I slowly began to feel fear and fear of the camera, and because of this recognition, my desire to capture a scene or thing decreased.

The photographer just mentioned, Nakahira Takuma, is a photographer I like very much. I know him because of his book “Duel Photo Album” that my friend gave me last summer. That was the first time I saw the thoughts and thoughts written from the photographer’s own perspective, which shocked me very much. When I read it, I can’t stop being surprised and sighing. After reading a chapter, I have to rest for a long time to buffer my shocked brain.

Then there is a documentary about him, “The Man Who Became a Camera – Takuma Nakahira”. It’s hard to describe the feeling when I just finished watching this documentary. It’s different from the refreshing feeling of voyeurism in photography and the thrill of watching and shooting when I watched “Zoom In”. Zhongping’s documentary only makes me feel comfortable and cute

One of Zhongping Zhuoma’s works that Haiyue likes

Documentary “The Man Who Became a Camera – Nakahira Takuma”

On the contrary, he was different from what I noticed, and this is what surprised me the most. What I like most about him is not his works, but his state when taking pictures. Watching him walk on the street will give you a very comfortable feeling. The way he cheers when he gets the shot he wants is cute.

Having said all that, it wasn’t his and I’s shared attention that attracted me. He wasn’t in the group of “similar viewers” in my mind. On the contrary, he sees it differently from me. In my opinion, he is only photographing what he sees, rather than expecting a thing to be located where the usual photographer wants it to be. This is very good in my opinion, but it is difficult for me to do it, because what I shoot is just some central points, highlighting some, ignoring some, and there is no meaning. Doing something with such an original intention is not as good as doing advertising design, as long as you know where it will be noticed, and then reproduce it.
Haiyue’s photography works

I don’t know if I will still love taking pictures in the future, but at least for me now, it is a terrible thing. Everyone with a camera hides behind the lens and captures what they want, but what do I really want to capture? I know what I’ve said has been said many times by many people since the invention of photography, Many people have thought about these questions—about how offensive photography is to people and how deceptive it is to the viewer.

海跃的摄影作品 Haiyue’s photography works

I mentioned at the beginning that now my desire to capture things has decreased. I don’t know if it’s because of the general environment in the past few years, or because I have been in one place for too long, and I no longer have the “freshness”. The “near and far method” is no longer working, and I have lost interest in objects and people on the street. I seem to be an “unqualified photographer” in my evaluation system, because I can only take pictures when I am traveling.
In a sharing session last month, I introduced Nakahira Takuma to everyone. That night I went to search his information again to see if there was any more content. I saw an article introducing his life and said: “Actually, what Zhuo Ma felt was a kind of general anxiety of the times. …it seems that at a certain point, Zhuo Ma suddenly realized that he was still stuck in the extreme situation and was out of touch with reality, which led to his total self-denial”. I just wish I felt the same way after watching it, and if so, I wouldn’t stop taking pictures.

From mid-December to now, I have been experiencing a very strong sense of loss and anxiety, not knowing where to go, and being homesick. Of course, this kind of sadness may also be due to the new crown, coupled with menstruation, and great mood swings.

I decided to go back to my hometown during the winter vacation and take pictures of every place that has strong emotions in my mind. It’s just out of nostalgia, and those strong desires to “own”, to do such a thing. There is a large hydropower station next to my hometown. People in my hometown often say that if this place is flooded, what will happen to the house. It seemed like everyone was worried about living there. Maybe? Maybe one day that place will be flooded, so while it’s still there, you should take good care of it.