Editor’s Note: At the 2022 Autumn Project Achievement Exhibition, Zu Yue once again gave a lightning speech with the theme of “the miracle will not come true without this”. As “She Zuyue one year later”, she shared her experience and reflections in the “Hamilton” musical project. The following is the full text of the speech.

Hello everyone, my name is She Zuyue. At this time last year, I also stood on the stage and gave a speech. The name of that speech was also called “The Miracle That Cannot Be Realized Without This”. To supplement the background story for listeners who don’t know the “Hamilton” project: At the beginning, I saw the musical “Hamilton” for the first time during the summer vacation, which opened the door to a new world, so I began to constantly ask my friends around me during the summer vacation I recommended this drama, and later the scope of influence further expanded, so I persuaded most of my classmates, wrote a petition, and told Chi Xiao: We want to act. Then some activities in the fall of 2021 began to “link” with the goal of promoting the “Hamilton” project. The students also practiced songs whenever they had time: during the lunch break, during the intermission of the sports field, and in the dormitory at night…

Poster for the musical “Hamilton” – designed and produced by students Everyone’s enthusiasm has also influenced many people, and they have received a lot of help in the process, and successfully performed in Dunku. 1″, reviewing the whole project from the first perspective at that time. Further reading: After the performance of Miracle Pt.1, it would not have come true, and was invited to perform in cooperation with the Chengdu local theater troupe Chemical Factory. The original plan was two performances, but another one was added later. With the professional help of the chemical plant, the effect of the performance more than doubled and received numerous praises. Chi Xiao also wrote a long article of more than 10,000 words reviewing the project. In this article, he said: “More than ten A teenager aged 14 to 17 uses his spare time to act as a director, screenwriter, vocal director, and design and purchase of costumes, makeup, and props. In addition to the actors in front of the stage, the sound tuning, lighting, and subtitles are also performed by the students themselves. Finished.” Extended reading: Education can explode the field | Behind the scenes of the musical “Hamilton” “The premiere on March 27th, the audience was full, and the performance exploded.” Mr. Liu Zhengdong, the manager of the chemical plant, said: “This is the chemical plant The biggest applause since its establishment three years ago!”

我也没想到，去年那场演讲并不是《汉密尔顿》的句号，在去年敦库的演出后，好奇学习社区又收到了化工场的邀请，并于2022年4月在化工场进行了三场演出。 相信在座的各位老师同学多少也会听说一些，关于那几个晚上观众们的反应：那段时间我的朋友圈里全都“燃起来了”，各位老师都在不停地转发相关信息。 其实是很受到好评的几场演出，几乎是在好奇的时间中我最高光的时刻了。 西西弗书店创始人薛野老师发的朋友圈中写道：“这些青涩的孩子像是被魔法改变了，自信大方，唱腔周正，演的很炸。我认识的游海跃饰演汉密尔顿，演出了英气，几年前完全想不到。学生导演祖悦引用歌德诗句做了分享，很棒。一百多人很享受这个孩子带来的下午。” 知名媒体人唐建光老师看完化工场的演出后也在朋友圈中说：“今晚是我看得最专注的一场戏，也是化工场实验剧场掌声最多的一场戏。 不过今年我要讲的，和去年的我想表达的，大概不太一样。因为《汉密尔顿》这整个项目给我造成的影响无疑是非常大的，凡事都有两面性，这影响也是。我非常害怕回忆这一年的事情，当时发生的很多事情我都记不清了。 今天，我希望能作为“一年后的佘祖悦”来分享一些我的经历和反思，当然，有很多回忆还是带有情绪的，我还没办法做到完全客观地看待这整件事情，但我正在努力。所以，如果有说错的地方，也欢迎大家指正。
I didn’t expect that last year’s speech was not the end of “Hamilton”. After Dunku’s performance last year, the Curious Learning Community received an invitation from the chemical plant and performed three performances in the chemical plant in April 2022 . I believe that all the teachers and students here will have heard a little bit about the audience’s reaction in those nights: During that time, my circle of friends was all “ignited”, and all the teachers kept forwarding relevant information. In fact, it was a few performances that were well received, and it was almost my brightest moment during the curious time. Teacher Xue Ye, the founder of Sisyph Bookstore, wrote in the circle of friends: “These young children seem to have been changed by magic. They are confident and generous. , A few years ago, it was completely unexpected. The student director Zu Yue quoted Goethe’s poems and shared it. The circle said: “Tonight is the scene I watched most attentively, and it was also the scene with the most applause at the Experimental Theater of the Chemical Plant. But what I want to talk about this year may be different from what I wanted to express last year. Because the whole project of “Hamilton” has undoubtedly had a great influence on me. Everything has two sides, and this influence is also true. I am very afraid to recall the events of this year, and I can’t remember many things that happened at that time. Today , I hope to share some of my experiences and reflections as “She Zuyue in one year’s time”. Of course, there are many memories with emotions. Work hard. So, if there is something wrong, you are welcome to correct me.

First of all, I would like to say something: After my thinking, I think the “this” in “from this” in the title represents ignorance, and all kinds of things derived from ignorance, such as bravery and mistakes. 

Anyway, by the time the new season kicks off, Hamilton’s tornado has swept through the community. Before Dunku’s performance, my “tyranny” was already very serious, and it affected everyone’s emotions, making the students not as good as before. Although when I watched it back, I thought that the entire crew was in a very low state at that time. It was the time and energy that had been invested in supporting everyone to complete the final performance. They all looked forward to the end of the performance as soon as possible so that they could rest during the holiday. . But in the end, through the joint efforts of everyone, the performance was successfully completed, and the assistance of teachers from all walks of life was also received in the middle, and the help was rooted in the efforts of the students. These efforts and enthusiasm really touched many people. The guidance of each teacher added points to the performance. The emotions of the classmates undoubtedly returned to me. Since December 2021, my state has been largely affected by these emotions and has been very depressed. Then, on the day of the final performance, Chi Xiao invited Dong Ge, the manager of the chemical plant, to invite us to perform two more performances there on behalf of the chemical plant. What a chance, if I hadn’t treated the crew this badly before this. Although we tried our best to agree, the crew was faltering. During the winter vacation, many students asked to quit out of curiosity and no longer participated in the follow-up rehearsal of Hamilton. I was very stressed to find new members, and I was also confused. Is it my fault for their withdrawal?

A winter vacation has passed, and one week before the start of the new season, I ask everyone to return to the community in advance to prepare for the next performance. But during that week, there was no rehearsal plan, which made the non-local students waste a week in Chengdu. During that time, I don’t know how many times the teachers received complaints from my classmates in private. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I could feel the change in the atmosphere: the passion at the beginning of the last quarter was gone. , the rest are only people who are supported by the cost, hoping to be worthy of their own achievements. The “final performance” that used to inspire the students the most did not play any role. At that time, the entire crew was wary of my emotional bomb, which was a very bad thing, and it also affected the state of the crew members even more.

Even Ziying, Tuha, and Yunhao who joined in that season were more or less affected by this drama, and their own conditions began to deteriorate.

Not only that, at that time I also used the so-called “student director” position to hope to add drama to myself, but was strongly opposed by other students. The worst day I remember was that before the end of the performance, I was working with and adjusting the lights in the chemical plant until two or three in the morning. At the end, everyone’s silent complaints almost overwhelmed me. No one stayed to collect things, except Yunhao and Ziying. I put away all the props and took a taxi back to the community with them. Finally, the finale began. But I believe that every student is probably the same as me. After the end, I only feel empty. The cheers gave me some comfort for a short time, and then the emptiness remained. I remember watching the audience go up and ask for a photo with other leading actors. I looked at it and felt very hopeless. I don’t have a deep memory of those performances, only a feeling of relief. The end of the final show is probably the real sign of “the beginning of a new season”. So I am really grateful to all the students who participated in the performance and the teachers who helped us. Whether it was in Dunku or in the chemical plant, everyone showed their abilities and let the audience see and hear our voices. Half a year of hard work really paid off. And this finished product is an effect that cannot be achieved without one person.

I believe that every student who participated in “Hamilton” has grown up – no matter how bad it is, they must have the ability to “sing the entire “Hamilton” song”. Even if it is just this, I think it is a very powerful thing. When Chi Xiao suggested that I write this article before, he said: “In many previous projects, the teachers still played a strong leading role. But you are really good at the project “Hamilton.” This sentence made me feel good. Quite a few, and I also hope that all the students who participated in the performance can know how difficult they have accomplished. From the end of 21 to April 22, for me, the really painful things came: first, I went to the chemical factory to interview the assistant director of the new drama and was rejected; I became the target of public criticism. I can still remember standing on the podium, and the audience complained a lot. I couldn’t say anything, and I recorded the questions raised by everyone on the blackboard while weeping. Then there was the serious conversation between Chi Xiao and me. I have become estranged from many classmates around me, and I dare not talk to them; I also did some crazy things during the winter vacation that I regret very much… Of course, it may also be because the performance of “Hamilton” consumed a lot of energy from my classmates , The performance of the drama “Sichuan Good Man” in the first half of 2022 has reached a new level of stretching. This is also a big blow to me from “Hamilton”

During that time, the question I thought about the most was: Is my bad performance in “Hamilton” the reason why I was treated like this? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? is this fair These three questions remain unanswered. Looking back at that time now, my biggest gains so far are: First, it has brought a shock to my way of dealing with people, enabling me to treat other people more sincerely, reflect on shortcomings in time, and make me feel better in these reflections. Second, it gave me more opportunities to reflect and grow as a director: I am no longer an “imitator”, but hope to express myself in the play and find someone who can cooperate with the crew members. Balance; third, let me start thinking about “how to face the mistakes I made”, and the balance between “being responsible for the results” and “not punishing myself for others’ mistakes”. If it weren’t for “Hamilton”, I would never have touched these issues at all. I sincerely thank all the classmates and teachers who helped me, and everyone who listened to my speech. This is the end of “The Miracle That Could Not Be True Pt.2”, I hope that in “The Miracle That Could Not Be True Pt.3”, I can look at the whole thing more objectively. thank you all.